Jeff and Haiti

As I type this, my husband, Jeff, is in the air and we are eagerly anticipating his arrival home. He left Saturday to aid in processing orphans and escorting them home to their waiting families in the U.S. I know many of you have read what is going on in the adoption world of Haiti. UNICEF has once again reared its UGLY head and managed to bring things to a chaotic stand still. Jeff has only touched on some things that he witnessed, experienced, and stood in awe of while there. Jeff agreed to write a post about what they did while he was there, as well as shed some light on UNICEF and what they are doing right now. It is truly sickening! I feel comfortable discussing these issues because it is not merely here say, but what he witnessed with his own eyes and experienced daily as he went in and out of the embassy and sat there for hours on end dealing with the process changing almost by the minute, as well as the antics of UNICEF representatives. The focus of his post will not be UNICEF, but I do want him to share what his team experienced with them. I want him to focus on seeing love conquering tragedy, people from different backgrounds coming together for our neighbors and a need that is almost too great to describe. I know that he came back with more of a burden for Haiti than before. Before this earthquake, I can say that we had not thought much about Haiti, but once this tragedy happened, something began to burn inside the both of us. It was days before we even mentioned it to each other. (To see how he ended up in Haiti, read the post below.-- it is TRULY amazing!) He told me on the phone today that he fell in love with the people and made several contacts. He feels we have a work to do there and we will begin praying about what that work may be and for God to begin opening doors.

I must say, life this Wednesday is different than life last Wednesday! It amazes me how your life can change in the blink of an eye when God is in control! So, I hope you will check back in the next few days, as he begins to share with us. It will probably take a few posts to tell it all.

Stay tuned.....

Obedience and Timing

Last time we "talked", I was telling you about needing to prepare and not plan. I can say that I have seen some growth in that area! The aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti has been heavily weighing on my heart and Jeff's heart and mind. We, like many of the world, have felt so helpless. I know that God's timing is perfect, yet, if I am being honest, I can say that having a desire to do His work with orphans and the hurting of this world and not seeing the opportunity or feeling the doors opening is very frustrating and discouraging. I realized that I was letting the things that prohibit me from going and doing (like finances) get the best of me, until this past week. Something broke in me and I decided to approach it with a different mind-set.

It hit me Thursday, that I KNOW we are called. I do not doubt that for one moment. So, my prayers began to change. That morning I began my day thanking God for His call on our lives and told him that we were willing to go and it was up to Him to make us able. That night, I was soaking in a bubble bath (that seems to be the one place that I get still and relax and am able to talk to Him and listen) and I prayed a prayer that I think thrust us somewhere onto the path He desires us to walk for the rest of our lives. Before I tell you what I prayed, let me lay some ground work...

I do not like being alone. Never have. In fact, I tend to avoid it at all costs. Jeff and I have talked in the past about one of us going on short-term mission trips, only to have me decide that I can't go without him and don't want him going without me. I know... selfish and yet, it was more of a scared thing. But, Thursday night was different...

Our church mentioned last week that they will be planning a mission trip to Haiti once the timing is right for groups to move in and help. I knew that we could not afford for both of us to go and had my doubts about even one of us! but, all of a sudden I found myself saying these words: "Lord, Jeff and I have such a burden for the orphans of Haiti- a country that I have not thought much about before (I am ashamed to say)- and for some reason this is different than any other burden we have carried. If you have something for us to do there, please open the door. I have NO idea what it could be since we have no contacts there or any ties to that country. I know that I am not in a place to go because of my job, but Jeff is much more flexible with his. If you open a door and provide financially, I am okay with him going. I trust you and will obey without question." Now, let me say this, I do not believe that He needed my approval. He did need my surrender, though. A peace like I have only felt a few times in my life, came over me right then and there. I got out of the tub and told Jeff what I had just prayed and did not think much more about it.

As we were going to bed that night, I had this burning desire to write a status update on FB about how I was feeling about Haiti. It was the first time I posted anything about it since it happened. I got in the bed and as I was falling asleep, I realized that my friend, Billie, had sent me a message on FB. I was comfortable, and decided that it could wait to read until the morning. Jeff left for work before me, as he always does each morning. I read it before leaving the house and when I talked to him on my way, I mentioned that she had sent a message saying that half-way through reading my update after I posted it, (did I mention that it was about 3 hours after my prayer in the tub), she thought of an e-mail she received from a friend of hers. Her friend runs an organization that was in need of able and willing individuals that could give 3-5 days of their time, to fly to Ft. Lauderdale, FL and then to Haiti to help some of the orphans in 2 orphanages get their visas done and then escort them home to the US for their waiting families. The catch was that they had to provide their own way there and take care of their needs once there. Well, I immediately thought, "man, if only we had extra money for a ticket, Jeff could go. He is off Monday and Tuesday and would only have to take a few days vacation." I mentioned it to him when talking, but only as a "man, I-wish-you-could-go sort of thing". Later that day he was texting me for Billie's phone number and 2 hours later telling me some amazing news...

He spoke to her and then decided to get more information. I kindly reminded him that we did not have the financial means to get him there and he ignored me! As I was hanging up, I suddenly remembered what I had prayed the night before. I then repented and began telling God that I trusted Him and if He was opening that door, then we were willing to walk through it and trust Him for the means to do the task at hand. Well, he called me at 4:30 Friday afternoon and informed me that he would be boarding a plane for FL and then onto to Haiti to escort these precious children home!!! Oh, and someone had paid for his ticket and was sending money down for him to have his needs met while there!!!!!!!!!!! Can I just tell you how my head went into orbit??!!

Less than 24 hours from totally surrendering to His will and way, He had thrust open a door and man was it a door! We later found out that not only was he going to be helping to care for these children there, but he will actually be delivering the children into the hands of their parents that have been waiting, praying and longing for them to come home. Those of you that followed our adoption, know that we faced some major set backs and challenges. There were times that it looked as though she would not come home. It was one spiritual battle after another. BUT ... GOD!!!!! Jeff knows somewhat how these parents are feeling and can relate. It seems that we have come full circle and now my husband has been so blessed to be chosen by the Lord to be a part of something so miraculous and wonderful and BIG. What an honor. What a privilege. What a great and mighty God we serve!

As I said goodbye to my husband this morning, I looked at him and began to say "you do know that the next time I see you" and before I could finish, he looked back at me and said, "I will be a different man. Take a good look at me because the next time you see me, I will be changed forever and much more determined to seek Him for His will for our lives." WOW! Who would have guessed that such a simple prayer of surrender to Him could bring such a pivotal thing in our lives.

Many have asked me how I am able to stay back with my children, go to work Monday and not be jealous. I can only respond with "God". I know this is His doing. I may not be able to be there on the ground, but Jeff is representing us. We are one. We became 'ONE' the day we said our vows almost 13 years ago. Today I fully understand what that means- not just in theory, but in reality. My time will come. I would love to be experiencing this with him. But while he is there doing what task he has been given, I will be here accomplishing mine. Learning to trust HIM fully. I will not know where my husband is at all hours of the next 4 days, like I normally do. I did not realize how much I took that for granted- how much security that brought me until today. It is probable that I will not talk to Jeff after Sunday morning until Wednesday. That hasn't happened in 14 years! Not only that, but you are aware of the conditions and risks in Haiti right now. They are flying by the seat of their pants, moving and doing at a moments notice. He is getting a crash course in flexibility and I am getting one in total trust.

I have determined that I WILL pass this one with nothing other than a A plus. I am resting in Him and when the anxious feeling of not being in control of the details of Jeff's days and nights in a chaotic foreign country with no way to reach him and maybe not even receive updates, hit me-- well, I will fall on my knees and T-R-U-S-T Him.

Every now and then, I am hit with this overwhelming knowledge that the God of this universe, chose Jeff to participate in this very special thing He is doing with the orphans waiting to join their forever families. WOW! But... then my heart is heavy for those that will be left behind and it breaks and I am more aware that there is still so much work to be done for not only the orphans of Haiti, but orphans everywhere. Awareness needs to be made, children need to be adopted, children need to be fed, have their thirst quenched with clean water, clothed, loved and brought to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I know that this is just the beginning and we have turned a pivotal point on the path that He has chosen my family to walk with Him. I cannot wait to see where it leads...

A Different Purpose

The title above has a two-fold meaning. One is that this blog is going to begin to serve a different purpose. It was, originally, meant to continue updates about our family since Bella came home from Guatemala. However, let's face it, I am NOT loyal to weekly or even monthly updates! I plan to use it more as a journal of what God is doing in my life and will update things about my kiddos from time to time. I just need a place to work through what He is doing and this is as good a place as any for me. The other meaning is that I feel the winds of change coming, so to speak. I have said before that I feel a 'bubbling' in my life and did not understand it fully. While I still don't, I do feel that God is wanting to take me to a new, deeper level in Him and with Him this upcoming year.

Let me explain...

I have felt the pull to a foreign land working with orphans for a long time. Although, I resisted it and tried to ignore it in my teen years, it did not disappear. In my twenties, it would surface and sometimes I pushed it back and other times I would ponder it and wonder, 'what if...'. When I met Jeff in my early twenties and heard him talk with such passion about going back to Nicaragua and running an orphanage, something leaped inside. Had I found someone who was 'toying' with this idea of being a missionary? Was it possible that someone else felt this way? (I would find out 7 years later when we began dating again and got married 9 months later, that, yes, it was possible.) In my thirties, I found myself saying to others "Jeff and I want to work with and care for orphans in another country one day." Then my mid-thirties brought me to realize that 'one day' was passing me by and I was NO closer to this happening than I was in my twenties. In fact it hit me 2 years ago, that we were further away from it than ever before!

This brings me to what I want to talk about. I have felt something for a long time. Something that I have shared with no one. Something that I have struggled with. Let me begin with saying that if you know me, you know I do not want to ever be accused of being a hypocrite. And I think that is where the struggle has come. You see, I am a black and white kind of person. I have been told before that I am too hard on others and the standard to which I hold them. That stems from standards I have for myself. These standards are sometimes unattainable. I. struggle. with. perfectionism. NOT being perfect, but feeling the overwhelming pressure to do everything in my power (and more) to make that happen. "that" being perfect.

Am I making ANY sense? I know I am all over the place. Bear with me... I promise it will come together and be worth it! :)

You see in my mind if I felt the call then I should have spent these last 12, almost 13 years of my marriage to Jeff, preparing and doing things that would get us there. But instead, we got caught up in the married life. You know what I am talking about... the house, the cars, the kids the things for the kids, the trips, and on and on and on.... SO now, we are further away and that dream and desire and calling are almost a speck on the horizon from this ship called My Life. I feel like I have spent the last 2 years trying to jump ship into a small boat and am paddling furiously toward that speck. As you can imagine, I am getting NO where FAST! In my perfectionist mind, I am done. I have messed up, if you will, and that reality is dead and gone.

We went to Guatemala in June and really thought we were going to get some answers and direction. Direction about where the Lord wanted us and how it would unfold. Instead, I came back with a supernatural bond having taken place between my children and the reality that I was involved with an organization that I was not supposed to be involved with. Some direction was given, but it is not what I expected. I found out what I was not to do and was left with more unanswered questions. I am glad that He shined the light on some things, revealed to me that I was going in a direction that was not to be for us, but really wished He would have told me more of what I should now do.

As hard as it was to resign from this organization, I did it. I was worried about how I would look to others. How I would be judged as a flake. How things would be able to be said about me. PRIDE. There I said it. BUT, I overcame it and am so glad that one thing that has come about in my life as I get older is obedience. Blind obedience. I have learned that it is of the utmost importance when you are following Him. Obey even when you do not understand. Even when you do not see the big picture and it does not make sense, you must just obey. It is for your own good and for HIS purpose.

When I got involved with the organization, I really felt that this may be a door opening. We had different passions, but seemed to have the same vision. It looked like a prefect fit. I know that I did the right thing by getting involved when I did. I just think God had a different reason for it happening than we all did. He used it to get us to Guatemala. There we got a glimpse of what it was going to be like working as a family on the mission field. It felt good. It felt right. It was a sneak-peek into the future. We also met an incredible family that we would have never met and fell in love with all of them. A friendship for life was formed. Then we came home and He spoke quietly to my heart and told me what I needed to do. I struggled. He got louder, but still spoke softly. I prayed and listened and then obeyed. I thought that once I obeyed, He would still speak and share more. He did. But it wasn't what I expected.

He did not give me much, at least not from my perspective. He just whispered, "Prepare." Prepare?????? That seems to be the only thing I need to do. Well, if you know anything about me, you know I am a PLANNER. That is sort of like preparing, right? NOPE!!!!! Read the definitions for these 2 words below.


planning used as a noun: A scheme, program, or method worked out beforehand for the accomplishment of an objective: a plan of attack. 2. A proposed or tentative project or course of ...

planning used as a verb: to formulate a scheme or program for the accomplishment, enactment or attainment of...

preparing equip in advance for a particular purpose or event; to undergo training or instruction in preparation for a particular role or function
preparation - the activity of putting or setting in order in advance of some act or purpose


After reading these and meditating on their meanings in regard to this situation, I understood my role better. We are to spend our time in His word and prayer, allowing Him to equip us for His plan. His plan. It is not ours. I am not to try to figure out the hows, whens and wheres. It is not my plan. or our plan. He needs NO help with the plan. He has it figured out and has had it figured out since the beginning of time. It is not new to Him. It is the destiny He has designed for my family since the very foundations. I am new on the scene. Not Him. I am the one that is now ready to get on board His ship and abandon mine. You remember... my ship called My Life that we discussed earlier.... Now, I want to show up and start figuring it all out pronto and when He doesn't move to my specifications, I decide to 'plan', instead of 'prepare'. BIG difference and He has spend the last 4 months teaching me the difference.

As this year ends and I stand on the brink of 2010, I have decided some things (thanks to Him). I need to manage my time more wisely. I need to keep my eyes focused on HIM and HIM alone. Not on what others are doing or not doing. Not on trivial things happening to me and around me. I need to rid my ship of things that are earthly and load it up with the eternal things. Just because I got off-course by allowing the cares and things of this life on board my ship, doesn't mean He has abandoned the call on our lives. It is still there and He still has a plan. We will spend the next year preparing, while He begins to reveal and unfold HIS plan for my family's lives. A plan that will be perfect and will bring glory to His name and His kingdom.

As I look back on 2009, I see growth that has taken place. We found a church home that we love and know HE sent us to. It is what we have been looking and longing for many years and did not feel existed any more. I see mistakes that I have made and I see more that everything that has happened in my life is for His purpose. He uses it all. He does not require perfection, but willingness. Willingness to step out and obey. Blindly following His lead. I am done with living comfortably. It has left me unsatisfied and unfulfilled. I admit that I like things. I am blessed. For a few months, I felt guilty because of it. I struggled with how can I say I am called to the mission field and working with orphans that have nothing, when I have so much and like some of my things (ie, purses, clothes, shoes, etc) God used some one to ask me a very pivotal question. They asked me "if the door opened tomorrow for you to leave all of this behind and you could take nothing with you but your family and the clothes on your back, would you go or would you hesitate? " I was able to honestly answer that question with the one answer... "Go" I would leave it all behind and go. My greatest fear has become waking up for the rest of my life with this pull and desire to go and having to stay here and continue on with the mundaneness of my everyday life. I want to wake up and spend the rest of my days loving and caring for the 'least of these' in ways that my brain can't yet wrap around. My friend reminded me that the stuff doesn't have me- I have the stuff. I can rid myself of it and be fine. If it were the other way around, it would be a problem. Others may try to judge me and question my heart (and they have over the last 2 months), but God alone knows and I rest in that comfort.

I hope I have made sense and you are able to see what I am trying really hard to convey. I am greatly anticipating 2010. I feel like the slate has been wiped clean, our course is charted and the horizon is getting closer... that speck is getting bigger and clearer and we are on our way to fulfilling the call. I know there are rough waters ahead and that we will fall overboard into the icy waters of uncomfortable living and I have never looked forward to it more in my life! I am ready to be broken by Him and for Him and follow Him into the unknown!


By the way, I am not going private. I was thinking about it because certain things I blogged about were veing used against me by another person and I thought by going private where they could not read it, it would solve the problem. The Lord has since shown me that I need to forgive and move on and not let them hinder me anymore. I wrote from my heart about things that happened on our trip to Guatemala and how God changed some attitudes in me and then it was used in a negative way towards me. I will not let them silence me and will let God take care of them. So... I am not going private. I hope you will continue to read. I will be posting regularly this year. It is one of my goals! :)

Going private

I have decided to go private with my blog. I have been thinking about it for a while (actually toying with it since Bella came home) and think it is the best thing for my family at this time. I know I don't post often and have lost some readers because of it. But... if you are still with me and would like to continue reading and checking in, send me an email at asalemi@cox.net and I will send you an invite. I will do it at the first of December.

Lots has been happening and I would love to post more often, but the truth is that I am working a good ways away from my school and spend a good bit on the road, Jake is in football and has homework every night and Bella.. well she IS 3! LOL

Jake was student of the month during October and finished his 1st 9 weeks in the fourth grade at a new school on the A Honor Roll! I am SO proud of him! He is such an amazing kid with such a love for life and others. God has blessed me beyond measure, for sure!

Bella is talking in complete, clear sentences and boy does she have ALOT to say, in a SASSY way! She is spunky, funny and FULL of personality. She is also head-strong and can be relentless in wanting her way. Definitely different than Jake. It is so wild to me to be able to see the differences between girls and boys at such an early age. She loves to have her toes painted just like Mommy and always has some toy (or many stuffed animals) and bags that have to leave the house with us or go to bed with us. I LOVE IT!! She is student of the week in her class this week.

I promise to post pics this week... you won't believe how much they have grown! Really I WILL post them by the end of this weekend. Notice, I gave myself PLENTY of time to do this!

Don't forget to leave me a comment with your e-mail address or send me an e-mail.

What to say...

Okay... not doing ANY better with frequent posts... I know. BUT, it is because so much has been going on here. My kiddos had the swine flu for a week and a half and then we had to celebrate their birthdays 2 weeks later because of it. Did I mention that I had bronchitis and I think Jake may have broken his pinky finger (he is at the orthopedist as I type)??? But, the real reason I haven't posted is because I am at a loss for coherent words.

Let me explain. We adopted from Guatemala, but my heart is feeling a HUGE pull towards Africa. I am not sure where or why. I don't know if it is to adopt. I feel that it is definitely to be involved with orphan care, but it seems so impossible and out of reach, that I feel silly even putting it out here. The only way I know to describe it is that it feels like there is a rope stretching from the country of Africa to my heart and every time I read something or see something about it, I feel like someone or something is pulling my very insides with an amazing amount of strength. I tell Jeff weekly that I feel if I don't get there, I am going to explode.

In my early twenties, I saw the African Children's Choir perform at my church and I remember crying for hours during and after. I remember telling God that I wanted to care for orphans full time on the mission field, in a foreign country one day. It was birthed in my heart that night. For years, adopting seemed like an unattainable dream. Until I STEPPED OUT IN FAITH and realized that it was not my dream to begin with. It was HIS and I was merely His vessel to love these children- His children. It amazes me that even though many years have passed, that dream laid dormant for many years as I got married and had Jake and lived my life the way I wanted, God began to use infertility to resurrect it in my life. He began to put a deep passion in my family's heart for orphans.

It seems impossible because I wouldn't even know how to get involved. We recently began going to a new church. We know that God has led us there, but there isn't a big missions program established. I know what you are thinking... "Maybe that is why you were led there, Amanda." THAT. OVERWHELMS. ME!!!

One thing I do know is that my time of 'sitting a pew' has come to an end! You see, we were heavily involved in a local church that was not interested in following the Holy Spirit and preaching the truth. The pastor just wanted to make people feel comfortable and wanted us to overlook blatant sin in the leadership. I spent a long time seeking the Lord about what was missing there and I feel He spoke clearly to me one night as I was running. He told me that there is a difference between giving your life to Jesus and exchanging the old ways for new ones (His ways) and incorporating Jesus into your existing one. The latter does NOT work and that was the mentality of the church we were attending. Not wanting to offend anyone, so we just ignore the sin and never speak the truth and disciple people in their Christian lives. After much prayer, my husband went to speak with the pastor. Jeff and this man had become fast friends and it hurt when he did not understand that we felt God was leading us away.

Now keep in mind, that Jeff did not go accusing or blaming... he just went and poured out his heart and told him what he felt he was getting from God. That ended badly and a friendship was severed and relationships lost. As hard as it was, we knew in our hearts that we had followed the leading of the Holy Spirit. This all happened as we were beginning Bella's adoption. Through our adoption, we continued to seek God's leading and tried to find a church. We visited and spent alot of time in prayer about it. We finally feel that we have found a place to call home, but I have been sticking to my mantra that I habitually recited to Jeff: "I just want to sit my pew in church. Go on Sundays and Wednesday nights and tell the people I pass 'Hello'" Well, I have sat long enough. The Holy Spirit is nudging me to get up and move!!

I can now say the I am READY! I feel a fire stirring in me that has not been present for many years. I am seeking HIS will for our family and truly wanting to hear. I am a very orderly person that likes things planned out and just so. you would think that 6 years of infertility and a 13-month adoption that took every wrong turn it could, would have gotten that out of me. I AM from the South and am VERY hard-headed! All of that to say, I am realizing that following God is about FOLLOWING. That is hard for me to do. I am a teacher... we LEAD. We PLAN. He is showing me that I am in a season of PREPARING. Not leading, so to say and not planning. The Bible tells me that 'the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord', NOT of Amanda. I need to begin to prepare. Prepare spiritually and financially for what the Lord is calling our family to do in orphan care.

I have done several posts about this. I have used a phrase about 'bubbling on the inside'. God has shown me in the last week that it is time to stop 'bubbling' and start 'flooding' as I follow HIS lead. I know that if I will just follow step by step, we will reach the path and walk in it.

Two weeks ago, some friend's of ours brought home their daughter from Ethiopia. We went to meet her. Jake wanted to hold her so badly. He followed me around for a while until he finally asked me if I would ask her mom if he could hold her. He did and then we left. As we were walking out of their house, he told me "Mom, we have to adopt a little girl from Africa." To which I replied,"Baby, it is so expensive and we haven't even paid off Bella's adoption." I blew him off thinking he had baby fever because she is SO adorable. Well, we got in the car and drove a little further down the road and I heard him say, "Why can't we adopt again?" To which I said, "Jake, why don't you pray that if that is what God wants, He will make a way." He did not respond for a while.

I figured that had done the trick and it was over. I know... shame on me. I blew him off because it seems so unattainable right now. All of a sudden I heard his precious 10-year old voice from the backseat say, "Mommy, I will sell all of my stuff. Everything in my room to bring home a baby from there." Well... there went the floodgates. My 10 year old is willing to give everything he owns to give another child a home in his home and what am I willing to do? HE GETS IT! Wow! The things I have learned from my son.

Not only did he convict me, but he showed me that God has put a passion and caring and longing in his precious heart for orphans. God spoke to me right then and there and told me that He was giving me a glimmer into what He is doing in the hearts of each of us and how He is preparing us.

So, as I close this post, I am inclined to change the title, because I have realized there is something HE is trying to say to me. PREPARE, Amanda, PREPARE. I am going to search my things and see what I can sell and do an inventory on my wastefulness. I KNOW there are ways my entire family can sacrifice to bring another child into our home and prepare for full-time missions work. These are the things I can do right now and I will leave the details to Him!

I'm BAAACCCKKK!

Yep, I know I appear to be crazy, but I just like this layout and look so much better. I plan to get Regan at Blogger Boutique to change some things and thought this would be so much easier for her. And I really like this title so much better. I am truly trying to live each and every day of my life IN THE NOW moment. So, I hope you found me and are still willing to jump blogs with me. I will post pics and updates about what has been going on (A LOT!!!) soon. So...


Welcome Back!!

some changes

Let me start off by saying that I have not been a very faithful blogger! I have been in a very strange place since Isabella came home. It hasn't been a bad place- just different. I am going to share something that some readers may have a problem with, but it is my blog and I am going "there".

I LOVE that we grew our family through adoption and am so grateful to Bella's birthmom for the sacrifice she made for her and our family. I pray that she will someday know how loved her daughter is by our family and friends. We do (and will continue to) talk freely about adoption; however, we are ready to move past "our adoption" and begin living as a family of 4. (Be patient with me... all of these thoughts are jumbled and chaotic and I am struggling with getting my point across in a coherent manner.) It's not that we haven't been living.. its just that I feel we have been healing. Those of you that followed our adoption, know that it was QUITE STRESSFUL, to say the least. Although, she came home in Oct. 0f 2007, I only now have begun to feel like the healing of our hearts and emotions (and bodies!) has happened.

Adoption will ALWAYS be a part of who we are as a family, but I feel like it is time to move on from all the hurts and losses and begin to just BE. Does that make sense? It is the only way I know how to say it. With that being said, I have decided to open a new blog. It will be a blog: where I blog about life as a mom that feels like a success some days and a mom that has had her share of failures, where I am a wife struggling to be all that I can to the man God has given me. A place to just be 'me'- living the life that God blessed me with.

I feel like the season of healing is over and I have emerged ready for the next phase He has for our family. So it is with great pleasure, that I invite you to join us at http://thisandthat-jajbs.blogspot.com/. I will be a much more faithful blogger... at least, those are my intentions! ;)